Following on from the previously posted collection of these items (click here for that collection), and in honour of our recently departed friends Tiger and Lucy, who provided as much as half the inspiration for these quips, here once again, as Triumph the Insult-Comic Dog would say, "for you to poop on", my collection of this year’s "Signed, the Dog" status updates. This may be it for these, so enjoy.
Don’t call me slow. I just make different time-choices. –signed, the dog. (The slow one.)
Sun Jul 18, 2010
I’m not over-excited, you’re UNDER-excited, so ramp it up, two-legs! –signed, the dog.
Sat Jul 17, 2010
"And you will know me by the trail of poop". –signed, the dog.
Thu Jul 15, 2010
Of COURSE I’m not a-scared of no thunderstorm… I’m just sitting on your foot in case YOU’RE a-scared. –signed, the dog.
Tue Jul 13, 2010
You’re up because I’m up, that’s why you’re up. Any more questions, morning-breath? –signed, the dog.
Mon Jul 12, 2010
I chew, therefore I am… If it falls to the floor, it’s MINE! –signed, the dog.
I just went 0-for-4 in the Table Scrap Toss event. I’m a disgrace to my race. –signed, the dog.
Sun Apr 2, 2010
Actually, I’m dribbling. Not drooling. There IS a difference you know. Dribbling has a much lower saliva content. –signed, the dog.
Thu Apr 01, 2010
You can call me an ungrateful cur all you like, I’m not going to love you any less. Lick, lick. –signed, the dog.
Wed Mar 31, 2010
I’ll pee when I’m ready to pee, and when I find the perfect spot. Telling me "hurry up" is not going help either of us. –signed, the dog.
Tue Mar 30, 2010
Dude, it was a CAT, I had to try. It’s what I do. That arm should pop right back in the socket. –signed, the dog.
I’m really more of a licker and a farter, than a boxer. –signed, the dog
Sat Mar 20, 2010
Dude, thanks for picking up my poop. I’d do it myself but, you know, no thumbs… –signed, the dog.
Tue Mar 16, 2010
Never mind what that used to be… it’s gone now, that’s all you need to know. –signed, the dog.
Sun Mar 14, 2010
If I test positive for curry, you’ll know you didn’t sterilize the container for long enough. –signed, the dog.
Fri Mar 12, 2010
Well, if you don’t like my bony elbow in your kidney, maybe it’s time you got up. –signed, the dog
Mon Mar 01, 2010
Then don’t think of it as kissing, think of it as me tasting your face. Still no, huh? Fine. –signed, the dog.
Fri Feb 19, 2010
Are we really going for a walk, or are you just yanking my chain? –signed, the dog.
Sat Jan 23, 2010
Why yes, I AM ignoring you. I just didn’t think "Farty McPiss-Bag" was a name I should respond to. –signed, the dog.
Sat Jan 02, 2010
Thanks, but I don’t need the whole bed, just the part where your legs are… –signed, the dog.
Fri Jan 01, 2010