Tag Archives: doggies

(Signed, The Dog) 2010 Tiger and Lucy Memorial Edition

Following on from the previously posted collection of these items (click here for that collection), and in honour of our recently departed friends Tiger and Lucy, who provided as much as half the inspiration for these quips, here once again, as Triumph the Insult-Comic Dog would say, "for you to poop on", my collection of this year’s "Signed, the Dog" status updates. This may be it for these, so enjoy.


Don’t call me slow. I just make different time-choices. –signed, the dog. (The slow one.)
Sun Jul 18, 2010

I’m not over-excited, you’re UNDER-excited, so ramp it up, two-legs! –signed, the dog.
Sat Jul 17, 2010

"And you will know me by the trail of poop". –signed, the dog.
Thu Jul 15, 2010

Of COURSE I’m not a-scared of no thunderstorm… I’m just sitting on your foot in case YOU’RE a-scared. –signed, the dog.
Tue Jul 13, 2010

You’re up because I’m up, that’s why you’re up. Any more questions, morning-breath? –signed, the dog.
Mon Jul 12, 2010

I chew, therefore I am… If it falls to the floor, it’s MINE! –signed, the dog.

Sat Jun 26, 2010

I just went 0-for-4 in the Table Scrap Toss event. I’m a disgrace to my race. –signed, the dog.
Sun Apr 2, 2010

Actually, I’m dribbling. Not drooling. There IS a difference you know. Dribbling has a much lower saliva content. –signed, the dog.
Thu Apr 01, 2010

You can call me an ungrateful cur all you like, I’m not going to love you any less. Lick, lick. –signed, the dog.
Wed Mar 31, 2010

I’ll pee when I’m ready to pee, and when I find the perfect spot. Telling me "hurry up" is not going help either of us. –signed, the dog.
Tue Mar 30, 2010

Dude, it was a CAT, I had to try. It’s what I do. That arm should pop right back in the socket. –signed, the dog.

Thu Mar 25, 2010

I’m really more of a licker and a farter, than a boxer. –signed, the dog
Sat Mar 20, 2010

Dude, thanks for picking up my poop. I’d do it myself but, you know, no thumbs… –signed, the dog.
Tue Mar 16, 2010

Never mind what that used to be… it’s gone now, that’s all you need to know. –signed, the dog.
Sun Mar 14, 2010

If I test positive for curry, you’ll know you didn’t sterilize the container for long enough. –signed, the dog.
Fri Mar 12, 2010

Well, if you don’t like my bony elbow in your kidney, maybe it’s time you got up. –signed, the dog
Mon Mar 01, 2010

Then don’t think of it as kissing, think of it as me tasting your face. Still no, huh? Fine. –signed, the dog.
Fri Feb 19, 2010

Are we really going for a walk, or are you just yanking my chain? –signed, the dog.
Sat Jan 23, 2010

Why yes, I AM ignoring you. I just didn’t think "Farty McPiss-Bag" was a name I should respond to. –signed, the dog.
Sat Jan 02, 2010

Thanks, but I don’t need the whole bed, just the part where your legs are… –signed, the dog.
Fri Jan 01, 2010

R.I.P. Lucy, 2000-2010

Incredibly, there is more sad news today… After having lost our bulldog, presumably to old age, just this morning (see previous post) word comes that our German Shepherd Lucy had to be put down.

Lynda, who is in the city for a few days, had tried to see Lucy earlier in the week, but was told she had a sore leg and they wanted to keep her off it. So she thought she’d try later in the week. Well today, they had Lucy in to the vet, and it turned out she had cancer, and it had spread into her bones. There was no choice.

Lucy was my first dog. I’d been around them, Lynda had dogs, but never had my own dog. Lucy was intended to be a companion for my mother-in-law, but proved to be more than Doreen could safely manage. Having been abused as a puppy and reclaimed by the breeder, Lucy was quite skittish and difficult. But I won her over with cheese, and she was my best friend for ever after. She pretty much adopted ME at that point.

She was always so gentle and timid with us, that it was surprising that she became as aggressive as she did towards other people. Fiercely protective, I guess, of her hard-won family stability. Which made it that much more painful to have to send her away.

I just said to Doreen this morning that when Lucy finally does go, it will be like mourning her loss all over again. Who knew it would happen the same day as Tiger… funny how these things go…

Not a good day for this dog-loving family…

119-1959_Lucy Goes Camping

R.I.P. Tiger, 1998-2010

A couple of months ago we lost Lucy, our German Shepherd. See Goodbye Lucy (May 14, 2010). But she’s still living on the farm and we can visit her from time to time.

But this morning we lost our dear sweet bulldog, Tiger. For real.

She’d not been well the last couple of days, but gamely rallied for pee breaks, tackling the stairs (slowly) to join the other dogs for a trip out back. Last night, with some encouragement, she managed to hop up into her favourite chair to go to sleep.

This morning I found her under the bed. She was gone.

Sadly, my wife Lynda is out of town, but Doreen (my mother-in-law) and I saw Tiger off to the vet, and arranged for her cremation. On the ride home, we recalled when Tiger was just a little puppy, and we were sitting on the deck at our old house, playing pass-the-bulldog, handing her around from person to person like some precious artifact… which of course she was…

There is a limit of three dogs per household in our municipality, so we had to license Tiger under Doreen’s name, since she lives in a different municipality (albeit just down the road). So I’m glad she got to see her off. They were the best of friends.

So very sad. Going to miss her so much….

Tiger